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The Grease Thief™ Analyzer streamlines the process of grease analysis by preparing the grease for subsequent laboratory analysis. The Analyzer provides a high-speed, easy handling solution for customer grease samples by eliminating the painstaking steps of preparing the various forms of grease that can show up in a lab. Microprocessor controlled temperatures and sample positioning allow for precise deposition of thin films for analysis, resulting in a uniform and repeatable methodology for analysis. It also includes a control and data reporting software that enables grease consistency changes, enabling 1 gram sample size standard. Data can be compiled and delivered to the customer electronically, with results in all four key areas: wear, consistency, contamination and oxidation.